Bill Scheftbill scheft





time won't let me

everything hurts



My second, and a finalist for the 2006 Thurber Prize for American Humor, the nation's highest award for literary humor.

Five former members of a rock band, fast approaching 50, must overcome their petty feuds, failing marriages, and addictions to sugar substitutes to recapture the fading harmony of their music and their friendships. In 1967, while students at Chase Academy, the prep school garage band known as the Truants recorded a purely vanity album, “Out of Site.” Thirty years later, they discover that a record collector has paid $10,000 for a rare copy of the disk, and an avid fan turned promoter convinces them to reunite and cash in. But miles from the horizon of youth, weighed down by shortsighted choices and mortgaged ambitions, that’s not so simple.

Richie, a divorce lawyer, must stop seducing clients with karaoke. John, a dermatologist, needs to escape the would-be patients who corner him at parties. Tim must introduce his wife to his drum set, hidden in the attic the way most guys hide porn. Brian has to desert the thesis he’s been “completing” for 25 years. And somebody has to somehow track down Jerry, a hopeless gambler/Equal addict last seen flying to the Caymans with $1 million taped to his body. Along the way they encounter a delusional sister, an anatomically-blessed baker, Les Paul, and former J. Geils lead singer Peter Wolf.

"A serendipitous twist of the zeritgeist prompts five middle-age men to take a long look back....It's "The Big Chill" redux, complete with a retro soundtrack... (and) plenty of vivid details."

"Scheft mines what is clearly a deep knowledge and passion for the music of the 60s."

"A fun read that will resonate with its target Boomer audience."

"A laugh out loud story of aging rock stars reclaiming their musical ids….A knitted plot of dark humor and daffy scenarios, a unique jocular style. This sophomore novel hits all the right notes."

"Clear and evocative….An amusing and unassuming nostalgia-luxe novel. The building up of the keep-you-on-your-toes, let’s-plot-twist-again unpredictability of TIME WON’T LET ME -- events zigging when you thought they would zag -- ensures a gratifying anticipatory read….skillfully and subtlely instilled by Scheft."

"Scheft uses words the way an artist uses color to paint a vivid world of hilarity and musical joie de vivre. Raucous double entendres are perfectly placed to make the reader snort out loud."

"A funny, well-observed look at what happens when five teenage garage rockers reconvene decades later to try reiginite their rock and roll abandon. … His believable characters, his New England in-jokes and his feel for the liberating power of badly played rock and roll make the book more than just another exercise in Boomer nostalgia."


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